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Will You Trust Me Now?

Updated: Feb 14, 2022

It was a cold night on the dock. As I was working, I felt like God was saying to me, “Matt, Will you trust me now?” I thought back to the last six months, how God had provided me with two jobs so I could go to seminary and support Carol and our son.

But such was not the case when we returned from the Summer SIL language training in North Dakota. I thought I was returning to a job at a Baptist church and the continuation of my seminary studies. Then, two weeks after our return, I was informed that my position had been filled by another person.

Carol and I were seeking God’s will, living hand to mouth, and had just spent the Summer pursuing Bible Translation training. And now, I felt the pressure of getting a job. I was discouraged and angry, wondering what we were going to do.

Some of my friends were getting hired by UPS, so I applied and made it through two different interviews. I was sure that God was going to get me a job at UPS. This must be His plan! And then a week passed, no word, then two, no word. “Hello, Jesus, are you there” The bills are coming.

During Seminary Chapel, the Professor mention that Roadway was hiring, so I reluctantly went to the terminal and applied. I had a bad attitude and acted like a big jerk about it but amazingly, I got the job.

I worked Sunday night from 11PM to 6AM and then jumped into my car to get to Hebrew class at 7AM. I took a few classes, went to bed and then Monday night did the same thing.

Shortly after this, I was contacted by the Seminary Professor about a church that needed a Director of Christian Education, part time. After feeling burned by the last church, I wasn’t in a hurry to call them. But we needed the money, so I called and met with the Pastor, and got the job.

I can’t express how much that church healed me and came along side of us in very challenging times. They were so warm and gracious, I still have wonderful memories of how they loved the Collins family. God knew we needed His people.

As for my job at Roadway, I was able to make more money than I would have made at UPS in fewer hours. I loved the job and got a good workout when I worked. I learned and grew as I ministered with the wonderful people of Thornapple Church.

It was cold on the dock that night when God asked me, “Matt, Will you trust me now?” I was wrecked by God at that moment. I thought back to my horrible attitude, my anger, my lack of faith. I began to thank God and I promised I would remember His faithfulness in my life. I was committed to rehearse how He provided for us far above my pitiful plan.

This Blog article is just me making good on a promise I made to God that night. I have prayed in reflection many times, “Jesus, thank you for your faithfulness in my life. Help me to remember that you have always provided for us. We have always had enough, even if it was just enough.”

“Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“ — Lamentations 3:22–23

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